There is pollen in the air
As the sunlight dances through my window
I hear the neighbours’ kids in the backyard
The sound of metal and sizzles
Suggests a barbecue that I cannot smell
Yet
I am curled up under blankets
Surrounded by snot-filled tissues
Ginger tea that has long gone cold
& a burning desire to die
I feel pathetic
When faced with a truth—
I am not made of firewood.
Sometimes my bones will feel sore
Or my head will throb
& my nose will stay so clogged
It needs my mouth to remember to breathe
I feel disgusted at
The thought of pausing
Of stepping away from the madness that is life
Of disrupting my carefully curated chaos of:
Work-write-work-doom scroll-anxiety attacks-existential crisis-work-work-work-
And how dare my body need a minute to sneeze?
How dare it forget to move forward?
Does it not know to ignite and burn and burn and burn?
Janoma Omena is a Nigerian creative writer and poet committed to telling the stories of queer Nigerians. She currently runs a Substack publication, Midnight Musings, and the AfroQueer Writers Workshop series. Her work has appeared in Brittle Paper and WSA-Nigeria’s anthology Survival and Invisible Battles. When she’s not daydreaming about stories, she finds joy in wandering the city, pole dancing, and watching anime.
Connect with her on Substack and TikTok (@janomaomena), and on Instagram (@janoma.omena).
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