Read Time:1 Minute, 42 Second
From the part of the world I come from,
Many mothers would tell you
They live for their children.
But in this part of the world,
I hear some mothers
Forget how to.
And don’t get me wrong,
It’s one of those things you truly understand
When it happens to you,
Or someone close.
All I wanted
was a breath of fresh air for me,
And a greener pasture for him.
So, I left everything familiar
Even my pillars of support
With Untold dreams.
I crossed the oceans
With a life growing inside of me,
As I unfolded the reality of being in my own world.
He was my first
The rain that watered the roots
Of an unpleasant string.
That string became the cord,
The significant stressor
That tightens my chest.
There was also the weight
Of inadequacy; the golden child
That failed her family
So, from one thought to a decision,
I took a step away from it all.
Hoping his birth would change it all.
And it did,
But not in the way I had imagined.
The moment he took his first breath,
I felt numb.
Not pain,
Not happiness,
Nothing but a silence.
I forgot how to inhale,
And the silence I felt,
Grew louder than his cries.
I slipped
Into the safety that’s left in my head.
Into the shell that too many mothers know,
But never named.
Now, I know it has a name
But long after,
He was taken from me.
To a place they call safe.
But now that I am well,
Maybe not whole,
I wonder
If my existence matter,
If he, too, has grown numb
From being protected from me.
And maybe it’s just enough
To find a new life
And learn to breathe again.
Elizabeth Akinsehinwa is an HR professional and a poetry enthusiast. She is the founder of Punpoets Media, a creative platform she uses to explore poetry as a tool for expression, connection, and empowerment. Through leading poetry-centred projects and building community, Elizabeth continues to amplify emerging voices while sharing her own.
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